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Gay Life – The Paulinator: California Gurls

Posted Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010 at 1:31 am by paul in Social Bees. More in 10018

California Gurls!

“Greetings loved ones, let’s take a journey,” Snoop Dogg says as he introduces Katy Perry’s summer anthem California Gurls. Well, having spent the past several weeks on the west coast, I can certainly attest that California Gurls are indeed hot enough to melt your popsicle… I was fortunate enough to be hanging out in Los Angeles during their Pride Celebration, and it was by far the most interesting pride experience I’ve ever had.

It started out like any other pride celebration, I was over at a friend’s condo near Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood. Mimosas were had, deliciously catered treated were shared and new friends were met. I spent the day chatting up this guy who was slightly older, but very handsome and definitely my type. He was also from New York, so it was nice to chat with someone also from home and someone I could potentially see once I returned to The Big Apple. He unfortunately had to leave shortly after the parade ended to catch his flight back home. I however, was not ready to leave in the slightest, plus I was still hours away from being sober enough to attempt to drive.

So, we gathered back to the beginning party spot, my friend’s West Hollywood pad. We read each others star sign and broke out the nachos and salsa! Suddenly, a man in his forties, sat next to met and started chatting me up. His flirting seemed to come out of lept field. I had not seen him earlier in the day, but he swore he was there, and in fact it was then when he noticed me, and definitely wanted to meet me. I was flattered, and having had probably too much to drink, was more than willing to give this flirtatious man what he wanted. So John 98% invited me back to his place, just a view blocks west of where we currently were. I dubbed him this nickname, because I wasn’t entirely sure of his name, and so when I programed his name into my cell, I put it in as John 98%. Classy, I know.

The evening was fantastic. He was gentle and romantic and everything I would expect from a gentleman. He let me curl up and sleep for a bit, before I finally decided I should probably get back to my place and not perform the walk of shame. We made plans to see each other later in the week, and I told him I’d check in and let him know my schedule before I left for home. So Wednesday might I sent him a text confirming a get together the following night.

Thursday morning, I receive a message letting me know we’re going to dinner at 6pm at the Cheesecake Factory. Now, I have nothing bad to say about the Cheesecake Factory, I simply don’t see it has a date spot. So, with the help of my friend I was staying with, we picked out this nice, new restaurant on Melrose, Red O. After I sent the message, I got a text that read, “no Cheesecake Factory is fine at 6pm.” and that was settle… needless to say, I was slightly pissed.

I get a phone call from John 98% while driving my friend back home. It’s about 5:30 and I let it go to voice mail, for two reasons, A) I’m driving and B) I’m pretty sure he’ll say “Hey it’s insert real name here” which he did. Regardless if his name is John or not, he will forever be John 98%. He asks if it would be possible to change locations to another restaurant. This time, it has a better sounding name and he says it’s closer to his place… Anyone, gay or straight, can pick up on that clue. Well, I arrive to this so-called French Marketplace, and lo and behold, it’s no more than a glorified diner! It was all downhill from there.

For starters John 98% had ordered soup before I even arrived. He claimed he didn’t know how long I’d be… When we established that we’d meet at six, and I was on time! He then proceeded to complain about everything from work, to bad karaoke singers to his latest purchase of $200 shorts… Because he’s a self diagnosed clothes whore. He kept going on about his plans for later that night, plans that didn’t involve me, and when the bill came, oh, you can imagine, we split it. Clearly, I must have had the wrong idea of what this was suppose to be.

When we were outside, that’s when he informed me, that I should keep in touch with him weekly while I’m back in NY and should consider moving out to LA to be with him… He would have invited me over, but because I was driving and his roommate had someone over with the parking guest pass, it wasn’t going to happen… After the horrific date I had just experienced, there was no way the date would have continued passed the sidewalk.

I’m just thankful that this coming weekend I’ll be able to experience NYC pride and not have to deal with John 98%, or the like.

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