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Dating in New York City – Holding Hans with Brian Hansbury: Boobs

Posted Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 at 12:30 pm by Brian in Social Bees. More in 10013

Q: I was cleaning the apartment I share with my boyfriend this weekend and found, for lack of a better term, a disturbing amount of tit porn.  I know guys like sex, but I’m a little uncomfortable, especially since I don’t have a very large chest.  Should I be worried?

It’s no secret men love sex.  We’re animals.  It’s our nature.  From the world of book learnin’ we know that most species are wired with sex crazed males and discerning females.  Your boyfriend’s interest in porn is totally normal.

His specific and apparently intense interest in breasts is another matter, but again not something you should get too worried about.  All men want to see and feel on breasts and if this was their task in perpetuity that would suit them fine.  But instead they have to love their wives and care about their child’s stupid play and find the best tree-cutter in town to handle the great oak that leans over into the neighbor’s yard and down deep in the quietest, most private chambers of their hearts they feel this is unfair.

A raw deal has been dealt to them that they were not born the richest man in Asia in the 1200s for this would certainly afford them the opportunity to have their minions trap and parade naked women before them for no better reason other than this is the only, the best way for a man to spend his time.  If guilt were not woven into the fabric of religion at its outset, perhaps today instead of Catholicism we would see a legitimate religion devoted solely to the worship of breasts.  An unspoken group mind exists amongst all heterosexual men that breasts should be out and freely available for touching at all times.  Certainly there are men (the type who holler and leer) who would handle this reality in a gross, treacherous way, but there are just as many others who would be grateful gentlemen about it.  Positively honorific.

Based upon his fetish, it is very likely that your boyfriend wishes you had larger breasts, even if he would never tell you as much.  But if you have a healthy sex life in which both of you climax regularly, you can take heart.  Fetishes are potentially detrimental only when the fetishist is incapable of achieving pleasure without the presence of his fixation.  Is your boyfriend actually imagining you with larger breasts or even thinking about some girl at work while in the act?  Most likely.  However, studies show that the majority of us practice these mental infidelities at times.  If he seems happy with you it might actually be the best possible thing that he has an outlet for these desires.  You might even want to let him know you are okay with his obsession (if you are).  He’ll probably love you even more and feel more comfortable around you knowing that his interest isn’t viewed as shameful.  No relationship is perfect and we all wish we could tweak our partner this way or that.  Don’t let a little jug porn ruin your good time.

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