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Dating in New York City – Holding Hans with Brian Hansbury: Top Hook-Up Spot of 2008

Posted Monday, July 28th, 2008 at 4:45 pm by Brian in Social Bees. More in 10003

Q:  I’m what you would call a serial dater.  Never really stay with one person for too long.  To this point, I have a few favorite spots in the city for picking up women.  Unfortunately, they seem to be drying up.  What places are the new black, if you will?

A:  Where’s in, where’s out?  The migratory patterns of NYC’s women folk are harder to discern than the Rosetta Stone or even a Magic Eye. And we haven’t approached the topic of what scene you generally roll in (Meatpacking, East Village, Ho-Ho-Kus).  On the average twenty-something tip, I recently went to a place called Forum (127 4th Ave.), which was voted top hook-up spot of 2008 by Citysearch. Happily the ratio of guys to girls (during a moderately busy happy hour) was decidedly in my favor.  So, you could give this place a shot or you could listen to my even better (and extremely practical) advice to follow.

For months a man can re-visit his favorite poon-hole (I guess there’s a pun in there, but it’s kind of gross) and reap the rewards like a suburbanite at his municipal compost heap.  But, like Seinfeld or, all good things must come to an end.  And when your oases of ‘tang dries up, there’s only one sure-fire solution to re-filling your booty coffers.  Move.

Why deal with spending thousands of dollars at tired bars over the course of months when in one fell swoop you can actually live with a whole new stable of women.  Sure you have to deal with the hassle of moving, but you’ve just rewarded yourself with at least 6 months of exciting new dating prospects.

A few tips.  Aside from making sure the apartment is habitable and not the worst place ever, your only criteria need be the amount of cute, unaccompanied women you see entering or exiting the building during your two six-hour stakeouts.  Ideally, one stakeout should take place during a weekday between 4 and 10pm and the other on a Saturday or Sunday between 10am and 4pm.  Who goes jogging?  Who dresses like a slut?  Who is obviously an NYU freshman?  Don’t allow any of your future neighbors to see you creepily staking them out as this could lead to a total backfiring of my surefire moving-for-dates method.

If you’re worried about the potential for awkwardness after you burn a bridge with one girl and start dating someone else in the building, don’t worry about this.  It is a necessary inconvenience of the method, but a relatively minor one.  After all, after you’ve dated one or two girls in the building, the fact that you have not lasted with these girls (and are potentially a jerk/serial apartment dater) will be trumped by overweening curiosity.  Try to start a rumor, maybe through graffiti by the garbage area, about how great you are in bed.

Okay, so there really aren’t many more than one or two tips.  It’s just really simple.  Go scout out an apartment building with a bunch of hot chicks living in it.  Move into the building and start trying to sleep with the women.  You’re welcome, your walk of shame just got a lot shorter.

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